What is trauma?

trauma Feb 16, 2024

What is trauma?

There are many definitions for trauma. In a lot of ways it has become a bit of a buzzword, with understanding around it becoming more commonplace. Each person you talk to may use that word a bit differently. However, from a psychological standpoint, a working definition is that trauma is a lasting emotional response to a distressing event. It can have symptoms that are physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual and sexual.

Trauma is a very subjective experience and can feel deeply shameful as well. Because of that shame, many individuals walk around believing myths about trauma. I want to reassure you and shatter some of the most common myths I encounter. Trauma is not your fault. It did not come from a lack of faith. It is not that you are not “enough” in some way (i.e. not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, etc.). None of those are a reason, excuse or cause of trauma. You did not deserve this, and nothing you did earned this trauma.

Some common symptoms of trauma:

Not sure if you or a loved one has trauma? Knowing some of the symptoms can help to normalize what you are going through and create understanding around the issue at hand. While this is far from an exhaustive list, these are many of the symptoms that someone who has experienced trauma mentions living with:

Emotional instability
Hypervigilance
Intrusive thinking and/or ruminating thoughts
Nightmares
Cognitive problems (some examples: handwriting gets sloppier, forgetfulness, speech problems)
Damaged self-esteem and or self-worth
Shame
Physical health problems
Impact on sexuality
Being very clingy or suddenly really detached in primary relationships

Are all trauma’s equal?

No, they are all subjective. No two people will experience trauma in the same way. What is traumatic for one person may not be traumatic for someone else. One common factor is that with all traumatic events or situations the world or certain people seem unsafe or untrustworthy. Additionally there is a subset of trauma called betrayal trauma. This occurs when there is a trauma in close relationships, such as with a parent or a partner/spouse. In betrayal trauma, the individual in a relationship engages in a way that completely destroys any trust or safety in the relationship. This type of trauma causes someone not just to question the relationship and their reality, it also causes them to question their sense of self and lose trust in themselves in a way no other trauma does.

Are there ways to stop reliving the trauma and heal from it?

Yes. Therapy is a large help in this. While talk therapy is helpful for many people, there are types of therapy that have developed to specifically target trauma. Those are EMDR, brainspotting, somatic experiencing, and accelerated resolution therapy to name a few. Additionally, you can learn coping skills such as mindfulness and grounding to help with the flashbacks and reliving the trauma. Most importantly, you can grieve the traumatic event and its consequences and learn to integrate this as only one of many pieces of your story. Part of that means also learning to tell the story to safe people so there is witness to the pain.