Why Don’t You Pray About It?

I needed support, I was drowning in my anxiety and none of my normal coping skills were calming it down. So I reached out to my friend via text message and shared quickly what was going on in my day and the struggle I was having. I did not know what I wanted or needed as a response, but I knew I needed human connection as some form of help.

“Why don’t you pray about it?”

Those words leapt off the screen of my phone like an accusation. I knew in my heart that my friend thought she was being supportive, that this was a helpful suggestion in her mind for the scenario I had reached out for her support in. Truthfully, it felt like judgment. As if I had not already thought of prayer and been actively praying. Except that I had been praying, quite heavily in fact.

The role of prayer

The Bible makes clear the power of prayer. Christians have learned to lean on and rely on prayer as a vital part of well-being and relationship with God. Unfortunately, some individuals take this to be the ‘end all be all’ means to healing and change. Time after time I have clients sitting across from me in tears, asking me if they do not have enough faith. Asking desperately why they cannot simply pray away whatever the struggle they are having at the time happens to be. Often, their struggles are complicated by the advice of well meaning fellow Christians.

What does healing look like?

So how do we, as Christians, come alongside and support one another in the midst of a very difficult time? We start by understanding that God cannot be placed in a box. He has the ability to use several different methods for healing. Prayer is our form of communication with God, but that does not mean that is the only way that He interacts with us. I believe that God can use doctors, therapists, friends, coaches, pastors, strangers even, as methods of healing and catharsis in our lives.

Perhaps a prayer is exactly the way that God will interact to heal a period of depression. But as another form of healing, and might I add an equally valid form of healing, maybe God will lead you to a doctor who can use their God given wisdom and experience to suggest a medication and referral for a therapist. And then God can use the therapist to speak healing and purpose back into your life. By that same idea, God could use the interactions throughout your every day to heal from that depression and point back to a sense of joy, peace and purpose.

Practical Support

We do not get to choose the method God uses to heal. However, we can choose to support one another in a myriad of ways versus using the clichés of “have faith” or “pray harder”. Instead, try offering to pray with the individual or gently remind the individual that you are praying for them. Ask “how can I help” or “what do you need from me to feel supported” before offering blanket statements of support. Send a word of motivation or support in the form of a verse of Scripture or a positive encouraging quote. Be the hands and feet of Christ in their life, demonstrating first hand that healing love that we know to hold so much power. Listen without agenda and without intention to give advice unless it has been solicited. Above all, be there. Never underestimate the power of presence.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2